When Children Are Out of Control
By Gwen Randall-Young
Recently
my neighborhood was hit by a series of break-ins.
It is unfortunate how such an incident changes things.
The neighborhood is pretty stable, most of us having
lived here for a long time. It is a "nice" neighborhood.
Surely the intrusion, the theft and the damage was
the result of some nasty characters from the big city,
bent on disrupting the harmony of a peaceful suburb.Not
so. It seems these are individuals known to the police.
They live amongst us, closer than we may think. Who
are they? They are somebody's children.
My first question naturally, is to wonder at the parents
who are unaware that their children are wandering
the streets in the "center" of the night.They know
what their kids are up to, because these individuals
have been picked up by the police on numerous occasions.
Give these kids a curfew.Set an alarm to wake you
in the "center" of the night so you can do a bed check.If
the child is out of control, and will not respond
to rules and boundaries, get professional help or
join a "Tough Love" group.
The police are doing what they
can, but the justice system is too lenient, and these
kidsare not being deterred by the legal consequences.
If an individual had a dogwho posed a threat to others,
we would expect the owner to make sure the animal
wasprevented from doing harm. If a home owner lets
noxious weeds get out ofcontrol, there are bylaws
to force the owner to bring them under control. Clearly,
it should be the parent's responsibility to ensure
their children are not out stealing and vandalizing
their neighbors' property.
Certainly there are parents who
are doing all they can and are at their wit's end
with their delinquent children. Others, however, are
not vigilant enough. How is it that the same ones
are regularly roaming the streets after midnight?
Likely there are drugs involved.
These things can only happen when there is insufficient
supervision and awareness about where children are,
who their friends are, and what they are doing.
This is a growing problem amongst
youth, and parents must be aware. If your child comes
home with belongings that clearly were not purchased,
track down the source. If there is not a legitimate
explanation that you have verified, call the police
and ask if any such articles have been reported stolen.
If your child is purchasing items
which he or she is unlikely able to afford, or always
seems to have money that does not come from employment,
consider the possibility that he or she is selling
drugs. Do not be naive. Drug dealers are not just
burly men with black jackets and tattoos. They are
junior and senior high school students who have a
source, and buy for their friends. They earn a lot
of money this way, and do not consider themselves
"dealers" because they are just selling to friends.
The friends, of course, often cannot
afford the drugs, so scrounge the neighborhood looking
for money or valuables. If you think your child is
involved in drugs, talk with the police. They can
be very helpful as they know a lot more about what
is going on in the community, and which kids are doing
what than even many of the kids do.
Let's do everything we can to help
the police to keep our communities safe and secure
for all. It is our responsibility to do so.
******
Gwen Randall-Young is an author
and Chartered Psychologist in private practice.
Gwen Randall-Young
Chartered Psychologist
www.gwen.ca
